Clear As Mud

Are you lost? Are you stuck? Are things as clear as mud?

Can you see your path?

What do I do next? Who do I talk to? Who is going to understand this crazy, amazing, scary, uncertain road I am beginning to walk down when I don’t even understand it completely myself?

Are this some of the things that are rolling around in your mind?

I get it!!!

It’s what was rolling around in mine.

When I was starting down this road,( I didn’t even know what to call it) my spiritual path, I had all of these questions and more. I felt lost and alone, I felt like no one understood who I was anymore, hell I didn’t understand who I was most days. Hell, there are still days, moments and that’s ok, we don’t have to figure it out all at once.

When on this crazy, wonderful, emotional roller coaster of a spiritual path you need to understand and be clear on why you are doing this.

If you are like me then you may want to set a few goals for yourself, think about what you want your outcome to be, and trust me it is not set in stone. This is the beauty of our path we get to change it whenever we feel like it.

It can be so easy to lose sight of what and why we are working on ourselves, why we want to grow. Are you feeling stuck on your path, not sure what your next step should be, what your personal growth should even look like? What do I need to change in my life to make me flow with some ease?

Being a planner and a organizer I sat down with paper and pen and wrote about some of these things. Things I needed to let go of, so that I could live my best life.

What do I need to heal from in my past or my present?

What is it I don’t want to hold on to anymore, what is my purpose?

How can I relieve the stress and anxiety in my life?

How can I create better relationships?

Giving myself permission to let go of those who no longer serve me. (It really is ok to let these people go)

To create more happiness in my life.

For me I need to have goals, lists, plans. I have learned that I work better when I am organized, when I have things lined up, when my calendar is planned out. Not everyone works that way and again that’s ok, but if it works for you then guess? what do it! If it doesn’t then find out what does.

I have stopped being a people pleaser!!! I have stopped doing things that don’t feel right, that don’t make my heart happy.  This is my journey and I will do it the way it works best for me.  And you will to.   (don’t get me wrong, I am willing to compromise when others are willing to do the same. But I am done with people who want me to do the changing while they stay the same)

Goals are what help me to define what my next step is going to be, how I am going to get there, like I said I am a planner and a doer.

 I was in this place of feeling happy but not happy, feeling sad but not sad, feeling angry but not angry, but I was all of these emotions wrapped up in one.  I was trying to walk this road of looking after everyone else and never saying no to anything or anyone. Juggling all these and wondering why I was exhausted and living off endless bottles of diet coke and cigarettes. Waking up and wondering why life was going by and I was just existing, and then feeling guilty because I had a beautiful family, we were healthy life was flowing….. I knew I needed to end this cycle.

 I began to research, I need less stress in my life, more peace, I needed balance, I needed to love myself etc etc etc…. I started off adding gemstones into my life and my home. They became my first step and are still a huge part of my life. I wore them, I added them to rooms in our home, then became part of the gifts I gave out for Christmas, birthdays, and just because I felt like I needed to share this feeling.  I was beginning to change my vibration and I didn’t even know it.

“where do I go from here?”, “What’s next?”, I knew there was more, I needed more, I craved it. The Universe has a way of giving you what you need. Chakras kept coming up in things I researched and read and I began to study them, took online courses (cause there was not anyone I could find in this city who knew what I was talking about) and read what ever I could find. This became the key that unlocked my journey. That helped to begin to heal all the old stuff.

I began to understand that I need to heal my past to be able to truly live my best life. I found myself again wondering what that was? Again, I had the “where do I go from here?” and “What’s next?” questions. Again, the Universe delivered, I found Reiki and did all my levels and through reiki I also found beautiful souls who got it!!! Who understood what I was going through, people who I could talk to that didn’t think I had lost my last marble. I have been blessed to have been supported by these people. Some whom are still with me, some who sadly I have grown apart from. I have realized that some will journey with you for life, others for a short period of time. They all have taught me valuable lessons, and without them I would not be where I am today. not all of these lessons have been pleasant, some have been out of this world amazing. I have learned to let go of who no longer serves me and embrace those who do.

I have branched out into the healing world and taken lots of classes, courses, workshops, read books, found tribes of beautiful people who have taught me lessons, and who have filled my cup some that have drained. I am thankful for them all without them I would not be where I am today.

Am I healed? Not completely but I am healing, growing and loving myself more than I ever have before.

As we walk our path, growing and healing we change, our goals and dreams change. How exciting is that! We have the power to re-define and make changes anytime we want, each time we heal from our past experiences, we can take another step forward on our journey. You get to create the life you want.

This journey is something you can choose to do on your own, or with help. I did and do both. I am working on myself through healing and awareness of thoughts, I have mentors whom I admire and greatly respect who have walked with me on this journey and for that I am grateful. 

Remember things don’t happen over night, be patient and kind with yourself. Once you get begin to know what you want, and where you want to go things will become clearer. Try some energy sessions, Reiki, chakra work, mediation, journaling, essential oils, gemstones to help you start clearing out those old beliefs.  

If you don’t know where to start or need some clarity don’t be afraid to ask for help, to reach out, try some sessions, workshops, talks ect. It might be the next step or the first step in letting go what no longer serves you.

#journey #innergodess #goddess #healingjourney #happiness #mindbodyspirit #innerjourney #reiki #energy #gemstones #journaling #chakras #chakragoddess #FillYourCup #LoveYourselfFirst #Ibelieveinmagic #magik #magic

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